When I go to live in Japan, will I face any discrimination in trying to date a Japanese woman?
By date I do not mean; dinner and yum yum but a serious relationship that may lead to marriage
Japan - 11 Answers
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1 :
If you want to become a lifer, there's that.
2 :
My answer is yes.
3 :
no its common in Japan, just be careful you do not get a cheap girl tho, most "gaizin" tend to look for a cheap slut and real classy girl wont fall that easy. Be respectful, genuine, polite and learn about their culture and language a bid first. Do not just go look for fun and sex. They are much smarter than most western woman ( America) and they are not cheap.
4 :
I hate to say this, but it's possible. However, I should say it's NOT discrimination but preferences. Some people don't like foreign people, and others love to date with foreigner. When it comes to a marriage stuff, her parents might hate non-Japanese.
5 :
A lot of japanese women do like foreign men, however, it is not necessarily the same case with their families. Some japanese women like only japanese men, some like both foreign and japanese. It really just depends on the person.
6 :
From the majority of people you will get indifference, as anywhere. Then there is a small minority of women who are very receptive, and some actively seeking someone non-Japanese (nearly always a white westerner, but not always). But that doesn't mean their families are perfectly ok with that. Quite often there is some nervousness; rarely is there permanent overt hostility. Plus it depends a lot on the personality of the woman, and what she is seeking exactly and how serious and mature she is. Doubtless sooner or later you will run into a neanderthal though - every nation has a few.
7 :
Hey buddy I went to Japan with no intention of marrying a Japanese woman. i was going to stay for two years, come back and go to grad school. I dated Japanese and gaikokujin women in Japan, because both have qualities. 10 years later, I have a healthy appreciation for what "cultural differences" can do to a relationship, especially when in-laws are thrown into the mix. For the love of god, please consider the fact that you are marrying a family, not a girl. If the family is full of insufferable pricks, and the girl won't move to a different town (or preferably continent) then I would advise you to keep moving. The mistake I made was marrying a girl who was great, a wonderful person, and a good match despite different views on religion and about anything else. However at first I did not realize the implications of living with my in-laws, and the "yum yum"less married life of the Japanese couple. So when I hear a guy who says he's not simply interested in a physical relationship, I think "This one is going to make it in Japan." Preferably you should castrate yourself after your first or second child, depending on how many the old lady wants.
8 :
Yeah. Like other people said. Dinner or yum yum or whatever you are thinking of, discrimination should be there, although I'm not familiar with international relationship in Japan. But I can talk about some stuff about discrimination in marriages, in particular discrimination against the buraku people. The buraku people are Japanese, but their ancestors were 'out-caste' class sort of speak. Even though the class system was abolished 140 years ago, the discrimination against burakumin is persistent still today sadly. To give you an idea, my parents once told me not to make friends with buraku kids, not let them come in our house, which is a total crap. The former president Aso Taro said Nonaka Hiromu shouldn't be a president because he's buraku. Or visit a middle class Japanese family in Western Japan on saturday afternoon or something, and you'll find that the average Japanese are refreshingly discriminatory against them. And the marriage. When a relationship becomes a serious one, Japanese parents use private investigators to find out whether their sons' and daughter's partners are buraku or not, and if their kids' partners turn out to be buraku, they tell their kids to stop going out with them. That's the usual story. The Japanese parents are very narrow-minded, and it's not hard to imagine that the international marriage is too something outside their acceptable ranges. Like the person above me said, you get married to a woman but her family so it's a difficult thing I think.
9 :
Point one has already been made, that being that some people like foreigners, others don't. Families generally aren't too hot on the idea. Yoda brings out a great point though. I'll add to what he said with the fact that even if the in-laws seem wonderful at first, give it time. My mother-in-law is a nice person but being around her too much drives me bonkers. And you ARE marrying the family. When the nuclear reactor disaster first happened, I discussed with my wife what should be done if the thing got really out of hand. Final decision? I take the two girls and go back to the US. She would stay...... she has family here. @Yoda.... I feel for you, my man.
10 :
A serious relationship that may lead to marriage. I'm assuming that both my wife and I were a little older than some of the posters above me were when we met, and I feel that this had a bearing on why we were less likely to be discriminated against. People thought we had been married for some time so didn't really pay us much attention, and the younger Japanese didn't see me as a threat. ( Gaijin, stealing our women attitude. ) With regard to In laws, As we live in the UK, and still do some travelling abroad, we only see them once ( twice if we're lucky ) a year. Although Skype gets a battering. !! but after retirement we plan to live in Japan. According to the posts above, It seams that the place we bought twenty years ago was a very good move indeed. !! Note; Damn, nearly forgot. With regard to yum yum, takes a bit longer but hey, we'll soon have all the time in the world.
11 :
I had a feeling that you wish the relationship with a Japanese girl to be serious one that leads to marriage hopefully because you'll never know who you are going to meet/fall and how it will go. While you're in Japan, you'll have lots of chances to meet non-Japanese girls. As some others say, once you get married, the big thing you'll face is not 'discrimination', but some difficulty in dealing with in-lows. And you can't put your girl to trouble being a translator each time. My husband, for example (of non-Japanese), was very welcome to our family/relatives. One thing is he spoke good Japanese and my family was more "open" than average Japanese (e.g. speaking English or having knowledge of other culture) Secondly, or the fact that attracted my family was this East European guy was very polite and thoughtful about others, say, group-minded-like person (probably more than myself...) Oh, he had never thought/planned to marry a Japanese girl, though (that's what he said.)
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